Why Did She Do That?

 I have always found the case of Peggy Moorehead compelling. For years I read and read and read looking for her or more aptly her story. I've no doubt that Peggy was a very complex person. Her father was a preacher. Her mother was, well, Molly and that is a whole different complex story. For years I was told she had a "heart seizure." I can only assume this was the story the family told themselves to soften the blow of suicide. Molly wouldn't even use the word on the telephone when she phoned Agnes in New York to say that Peggy was "ill." She wasn't ill in the true sense of the word. She would never recover from what she had done despite her reassurances to her mother that she had nursed a girl who had done the same and recovered. Peggy knew she wasn't going to recover. She was a nurse for heaven's sake. She knew she was dying. She was just waiting for it to happen. She'd made sure it would. For years I've read her story over and over. A story we'd know nothing about saving for a letter from her mother to Agnes explaining that Peggy and "Frank" were over and Peggy had no reason why. We'd never know that  she had been in an argument with her sister driving Agnes to wonder why Peggy couldn't have come to them and find the statement punctuated with the words "You've never loved a man like I have." Plainly it broke Agnes' heart but it would never have come to light save for research done for a book written by somebody else who happened upon the gut-wrenching note in the back of an old notebook that had belonged to Agnes. Every single thing we know comes from other people.

Over the years I've been told many stories about Peggy. She apparently had an abiding love for dance. In particular, she loved the dancing of Isadora Duncan and I was told by a former neighbor in Reedsburg that Peggy would often dance nude in her parent's backyard. Nude I believe is relative in this instance since it likely refers to wearing sheer tunics a la Duncan. Never the less an uptight individual does not dance a la Duncan in her parent's backyard let alone dance that way when her father is a preacher. It seems to me that Peggy was a fanciful thinker who enjoyed freedom not afforded her sister. Peggy just didn't seem to worry about what other folks thought. This brings me back again to 1929 and her suicide.

I think it's worth mentioning again that  Peggy according to the local newspaper was in St. Louis on June 22nd, 1929. This was a Saturday and the announcement was that she was visiting friends in St. Louis and was expected home the following Friday or Saturday. That would have been June 28th or 29th. It's also worth mentioning again that by July 14th she was dead by her own hand. I have always wondered why did she did that. Why? What happened in St. Louis? What happened in Reedsburg? We have a cryptic note from Molly saying Peggy apologized for the nonsense that recently happened. What nonsense? Why???

Often people attempt suicide as a cry for help but those who actually just do it aren't crying for help they're crying out in pain. A pain that is so deep that it shatters their body and soul. A pain that is so deep that they cannot conceive of surviving it nor do they want to. They just want that pain to stop. I've had pain in my life but not like that.

It took Margaret 3 days to die. That means the decision to kill herself happened on or about July 11th. This happens 12 days after she returns from St. Louis. Molly described that "Frank" said they would quit out of the blue, they being Peggy and Frank. How out of the blue was it though? My gut has always said that perhaps Peggy was pregnant and perhaps that is why she told her sister that she had never loved a man the way Peggy had. I can't prove that but her father was a preacher. However, you choose to look at it suicide was absolutely anti-everything her father preached whether it was because she was pregnant or simply emotionally broken. It is by definition of the bible a sin either way. 

The most curious thing is why her obituary in the Dayton paper says she'd been living there for a year when the Directory of St. Louis in 1929 lists her as a nurse at the Jewish Hospital. Then there is the whole thing of her also being listed as living in Reedsburg in its Directory for the year 1929. What is actually happening here? Let it be said at this point the family had been back in St. Louis where Peggy's father was pastor at Carondelet Presbyterian until June of 1928. He had been there since at least 1925 when his name is first mentioned in the newspaper as pastor. Again I ask what is the gap in Peggy's life from 1922 when she was a freshman in Reedsburg High School and 1925 when the record indicates that her parents moved back to St. Louis. Where in the name of all things holy is she for 3 years??? She allegedly graduated from Cleveland High School in 1925 according to the city of St. Louis. I've looked and I still keep coming up with photos I've already posted but one. The bottom line is Peggy wore glasses and only one picture I can find has a girl with glasses. Admittedly glasses can be removed but Peggy has a very strong chin so and the others I've found do not have that. So this is my newest guess:

The young woman with glasses may be Peggy. The chin is right. The nose is right. The hair is a lighter color as Peggy's was. Of course, they don't list names and she does not have a picture in the Senior photo section. It can never be easy, can it? I have no idea what made Peggy the person she was. I have no idea what drove her to take her own life. I will keep picking it apart though and perhaps in time, I will find out what may have happened.